


Chamomile Tea

by The_Fanfic_Train



Series: Growing Pains [5]
Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Established Relationship, First Fight As A Couple, Light Angst, M/M, Relationship Struggles, Taako struggles saying I love you, almost break up, angus just wants his parents to get along, post relationship trauma, taako is angus' dad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-03
Updated: 2020-07-03
Packaged: 2021-03-04 21:21:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,745
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25043062
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Fanfic_Train/pseuds/The_Fanfic_Train
Summary: He was making tea, which was both good and bad- he was expecting a long conversation, which was unfortunate, but good because after almost two years of spending time with the man he had become skilled at reading the man’s mood off of what he steeped. Peppermint after a workout, ginger if he wasn’t feeling well, chamomile if he was stressed or anxious, lavender to help him fall asleep, lemon tea with honey when he was sad, cinnamon apple if he was having a good day, green tea if he was trying to focus, and valerian root tea when he was excited.He took the mug and sipped it, resisting the urge to wince as he did. Chamomile. Not great.(One shot off of Silk and Lace- it can be read as a solo fic, but it will make more sense if you've read that first).
Relationships: Background Taako & Angus, Kravitz/Taako (The Adventure Zone), background Angus & Kravitz
Series: Growing Pains [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1781458
Comments: 8
Kudos: 90





	Chamomile Tea

Taako stretched blissfully under the warm sun streaming through Kravitz’s window, sneaking out from the arm that had been tucked around his hip. He could have easily grabbed his own clothes from where they remained strewn across the floor, but what was the fun in that? Besides, when he stole from his boyfriend, that meant he could spend all morning sniffing the expensive cologne he  _ insisted  _ on wearing.

Kravitz’s sweater (currently Taako’s, considering that the man never wore it) was clearly meant for someone who was far more muscled, meaning that his thinness made it long enough to be worn solo, as it draped to his knees.

Angus was still asleep when Taako headed into the living room, surprisingly. Angus had always been an early riser, and as much as Taako was trying to train him out of it, no cigar. 

Probably for the best, though- Taako rarely got to make his kid breakfast, since Angus was always hungry the moment he woke up. It wasn’t very long before there was a kiss being pressed into the underside of his jaw, an unspoken  _ good morning _ being passed between the two.

“It smells good,” Kravitz murmured, leaning against Taako’s back sleepily. 

“Natch, handsome,” He stirred the eggs in the pan. “Chaboy was a professional chef, and I know you like to be pampered.”

“Mm, thanks. Love you, babe,” 

“Yeah, I know,” Taako shrugged him off with a playful smile. “You want to go wake my grizzly bear on the couch? Ask if he wants bacon or sausage.”

Kravitz pulled away, seemingly more lucid, but when he didn’t say anything else to the chef, he shrugged. Maybe he was still half asleep.  
  


* * *

  
Usually, they’d stay past dinner, but Magnus was coming over later that evening. Kravitz ended up dropping them off early in the afternoon. Angus headed inside almost immediately, leaving the couple alone in the car.

“Taako?” Kravitz's voice was hesitant as he placed a hand on the man’s forearm.

“Yeah, babe? Thanks for driving, by the way,” Taako added, leaning across to kiss his boyfriend on the cheek.

“I love you.”

“You’re sweet, you know that?” Taako patted the hand on his arm twice before removing it and undoing his seatbelt to get out of the car. “I’ll see you next weekend- come over at about six?”

“Yeah,” Kravitz sounded a little deflated. “See you next weekend.”  
  


* * *

  
Two days later, Kravitz sent Taako a text.

3:03 am

Can’t come over this weekend. Sorry. Maybe next week.

12:42 pm

Why were u up so late  
  


12:43 pm

R u sick? I can make barry postmates soup

4:00pm

Something like that. Talk to you later. Just having a lot of thoughts.  
  


* * *

  
“Having a lot of thoughts” ended up meaning that Kravitz didn’t reach out at all over the next week- it was only when the weekend approached that Kravitz asked if Taako could come over sans Angus on Thursday.

Booty call.  _ Nice. _ A little odd, definitely out of character for Kravitz, but they hadn’t seen each other in a while and they could hang out for a bit before Taako needed to return home.

He shaved in record time, threw on some tights that gave him  _ hella  _ butt and a loose t-shirt, barely managing to tie his hair up in a bun before hurrying out the door and into Kravitz’s car. His fingers were tapping against the steering wheel, strangely off-beat to the music, and he was looking out the driver’s side window.

“Hey babe,” Taako said, sliding into his seat. 

“Hey, Taako,” He spoke softly, pulling onto the road. “How’s Angus?”

“He’s fine- he’s joined a youth soccer team. Seems to really enjoy it. He’s ahead in school, but I think it’d be good for him to have some friends his own age.” Night had fallen long ago, and the stars above twinkled with hidden promise. “He seems to enjoy it.”   
  
“That’s good,” Kravitz said quietly. “It’s nice that he’s got things to do. He’s a bit reclusive at times.”

“Yeah, but he’s getting a lot better. He’s gotten really close to Magnus recently- he really likes going to the farm and meeting the service dogs that he’s training. Magnus is thinking about adopting one of the dogs that’s probably about to flunk out- his name is Johann, he’s pretty cool.” Taako shrugged.

“Oh? I didn’t know Magnus had a pet-friendly apartment?” 

“Yeah- he almost got a bird a few months ago. Decided against it, wanted something more cuddly. Hey, are you okay?” Taako said, looking at his boyfriend.

“I’m- I’ve been better, Taako.” Kravitz admitted. “I’d really rather if this conversation waited for when we arrive, though.”   
  
“Oh, okay.” Taako leaned back in his seat, swallowing to try and quell his anxiety.

By the time Kravitz let the two into the apartment, Taako had his hands clenched at his sides to avoid any shaking. Okay,  _ not _ a booty call- was he getting dumped? Not like it hadn’t happened before, but he had always been dumped over the phone, usually through text. And if he  _ was _ getting dumped, why had he been picked up? Was he going to drop him off after? Or was he expected to walk home alone? 

That didn’t seem very Kravitz-like, but then again,  _ Kravitz  _ wasn’t being very Kravitz like. Maybe it was for the best- Taako didn’t know what he had done, but, admittedly, he had already let this relationship go on longer than he should have.  _ Stupid, stupid, stupid- _ hadn’t he learned  _ anything _ from the two years he spent in prison?

“Do you want something to drink?” Kravitz asked, moving into his kitchen. He was making tea, which was both good and bad- he was expecting a long conversation, which was  _ unfortunate _ , but good because after almost two years of spending time with the man he had become skilled at reading the man’s mood off of what he steeped. Peppermint after a workout, ginger if he wasn’t feeling well, chamomile if he was stressed or anxious, lavender to help him fall asleep, lemon tea with honey when he was sad, cinnamon apple if he was having a good day, green tea if he was trying to focus, and valerian root tea when he was excited.

The first weekend Kravitz stayed over with Angus and Taako, he drank six cups of the root tea in two days and a night.

“Taako?” Kravitz said, placing two mugs down on his coffee table. “You never responded, so I made you one anyways.”

“Thanks, bones.” He took the mug and sipped it, resisting the urge to wince as he did. Chamomile. Not great.

“I think there’s been a misunderstanding, Taako,” Kravitz said after a few moments, looking into his cup. “I think you and I are… uh, I think I may have overstepped, and I’m sorry, but I also- I think I need clarification as to what you’re looking for from me, because clearly we don’t have the same intentions.”

“I- what?” Taako blinked in surprise. This is  _ not _ what he was expecting. “What are you talking about?”

“Taako, please, I’m not stupid,” Kravitz sighed, glancing up to look him in the eyes. “This is just a casual fling to you, isn’t it?”

And… okay, that one hurt. Taako would spend hours getting ready for a date night, always made extra food to send Kravitz home with leftovers, and invited him to  _ every _ family event- hell, Taako even brought Angus over to Raven and Istus’  _ without _ Kravitz, because the old ladies loved his kid and he wanted to get along with his boyfriend’s family. He introduced Kravitz’s friends, Hurley and Sloane, to his friends, Carey and Killian because they were  _ important _ to Kravitz, and by making them happy, he would make Kravitz happy.

It was more than he had ever done for anyone  _ ever _ , and Kravitz still didn’t think it was enough.

“No, Kravitz, it’s  _ not _ a casual fling to me.” Taako couldn’t help the bit of bite that seeped into his tone. “I would have thought that the fact that I’m still here would have been an indicator that you’re more than a good lay to me.”

“Why are you getting angry?” Kravitz’s posture straightened a little as he put his mug back on the coffee table. “I’m trying to have a civil conversation with you, and if either of us is going to be angry it should be me.”

“I don’t think you should talk to me like that.” Taako wrapped his arms around himself.  _ Stupid, stupid-  _ should have ended it himself when Kravitz bailed last weekend. “It’s like all the shit I do for you isn’t good enough.”

“I didn’t say that.”

“It sure fucking felt like you did, homie.”

Kravitz’s hands migrated to his face, rubbing at the tension hard-set over his features. “I apologize,” And wow, did that not feel genuine- “that was not my intention. I meant what I said, though. I think you and I have different expectations for this relationship, and it’s getting exhausting. Honestly, Taako, what do you want from this? From us?”

“Kravitz, stop beating around the bush,” Taako squeezed himself a little tighter. Too bad he had to go home to the apartment for Angus- he really wanted to go see Lup. “ask me what you’re really thinking.”

“Okay, fine. I don’t want to talk to you in a way that makes you upset, but  _ I’m _ upset, and this is what I’m thinking, and you can take this however you want. Taako, I’m  _ thirty _ . I am rapidly getting older, and I’m rapidly leaving the age range where I can easily find someone who’s interested in a long term relationship, because everyone else has  _ done that _ already. I want to get married, I want to have a couple of kids, and I want to wake up next to my partner everyday for the rest of my life and know that  _ this is it _ , this is the person I’ve spent my entire life trying to find, because there’s nowhere else and no one else I’d rather be with. And I love you Taako, and I think I have for a while, and it’s too soon to be sure, but I think you  _ could _ be that person for me- and as far as I can tell, you could walk out any day and never come back, because it feels like I care about you more than you care about me.” Kravitz’s eyes flooded a little, so he tilted his head up towards the ceiling and blinked a few times and he spoke.

“What gives you that idea?” Taako frowned, but Kravitz just shut his eyes and sighed.

“You just did it again.”

“Did  _ what? _ ”

“I’ve been saying I love you to you for almost four months now. And you’ve never said it back, not once. At first I thought it was because you weren’t ready, and I could accept that because I didn’t want your feelings to come from a place of obligation but it- god, Taako, it  _ hurts _ saying it and never hearing it back.  _ I love you _ , but I  _ can’t _ keep doing this,” He finally locked eyes with Taako again, although he still seemed ready to cry. 

“That’s it, then?” Taako’s voice was surprisingly small. “If I can’t say it back, you don’t want me anymore?"

“I think I’ll always want you. But this is- it’s so important to me, Taako.” Kravitz suddenly took his hands, scooting closer. “Please, if you love me- if you care about me and want this, just tell me.”   
  
“I care about you, and I want this,” Taako pressed a palm to Kravitz’s cheek, “but I can’t say it.”

“But do you? Even if you can’t say it, even just a nod- please, do you love me?”

“Kravitz,” Taako said, removing his palm. “I don’t- the nod, saying it- that’s the same thing. I can’t just- it’s not that easy-”

“You don’t.” Kravitz leaned back. “It’s- don’t force yourself. It’s okay. Don’t lie to yourself to make me happy. It’s okay, really. I’ll be okay. Thank you for being honest and- and everything. I love you, Taako.”

_ Say it back _ . A voice in the back of his head urged.  _ Say it back _ .

But he couldn’t, so he walked home in the rain and let his tears leave a few extra wet spots on the cement.  


* * *

  
They weren’t broken up, but they weren’t together. The limbo before the guillotine- the severing of ties would come soon, and Kravitz would just become another name that Lup and Barry would mention occasionally that would hold no weight to him. 

He had begged for Taako to let him drive him home. He had refused, saying he needed the space to think before seeing Angus. And he had gotten it- Taako hadn’t slept a wink, and the kid had the wits to stay out of sight for the rest of the evening. 

Taako pulled banana bread out of the oven and cursed himself. If he was just going to stress bake, there was no point in him staying home. At least he’d get paid to bake at the cafe.

Two different pies, a cake, cookies, macarons, a lemon loaf. Hours of work, and none of it was going to get eaten. Despondently, he thought that Kravitz would have been a good target to push the sweets onto- he was still insistent on watching his figure for work, but he’d been easily swayed into eating desserts around the twins. 

“Dad? Why are you awake? Are you opening the bakery today?” Angus asked. School- hopefully today was a bus day and not a Kravitz day. Taako wasn’t sure he could handle seeing him again after last night, especially not when he had watched the man wipe away tears as Taako laced himself back into his shoes.

“Called in, Agnes. Going to spend the day at home. Want banana bread for breakfast?” It burned his hands as he slid it onto the cooling rack, a rookie mistake, but if Angus knew he wasn’t feeling like himself he’d never hear the end of it.

“That sounds good, thank you.” The boy said hesitantly. “Why’d you call in?”

“Don’t feel like working- not part of the Taako brand.” He said nonchalantly, slicing the end. “Is Kravitz picking you up today?”

“No, it’s a bus day. Is he still coming over tonight?”

“ ‘fraid not,” Taako said, spreading butter over the slice for Angus. “I don’t think we’re going to alternate weekends anymore.”   
  
“Are you fighting?” Angus asked.

“No,” Taako replied firmly. “Just… a misunderstanding. Go on, eat up, pumpkin. Don’t want to miss your bus.”

And then he headed into his room and tried not to think about anything.  
  


* * *

  
Maybe it would hurt less if they were actually fighting. Maybe it would hurt less if Taako had yelled and screamed and called him a selfish ass that couldn’t just settle for the happiness they had. Maybe it would have hurt less if Kravitz had asked Taako if he was cheating, because clearly he didn’t love him, and that clearly he wasn’t worth three measly words.

Taako didn’t tell Lup- he knew damn well that she would hunt Kravitz down if she caught wind that they were struggling, and he already felt like the current situation was being blown out of proportion. 

He was miserable without Kravitz. He missed the way he laughed at his own jokes, the stupid cockney accent from work that he had started using around Angus, and the way Kravitz could convince Angus into joining them in their bed for a late-night cuddle when Taako could not. He missed Kravitz’s weird taste in music, the way the he got angry about the movie Totoro (despite watching it at least once every few weeks), and the way  _ he _ jumped at two in the morning when his cold feet pressed against Taako’s leg, like  _ he _ was the one who had just gotten an awful wake-up call. 

He missed the way Kravitz would kiss him when no one was looking (whether it be on the lips, forehead, cheek, or any other inch of exposed skin), and his missed the way Kravitz would hug him impossibly fondly. 

He was clearly in L-word with him, so all he had to do was  _ say  _ it. And not even  _ it _ \- Kravitz would understand if he wrote it or mimed it or  _ whatever _ , and all he needed to say was “hey, last time I told someone I was in love with them, they ruined my life, and we’ve got a great thing going and I really don’t want to mess this up.” All he needed to say was, “The only people in my life I say ‘I love you’ to is Lup and  _ occasionally _ Angus- not even Barry or Magnus. This isn’t a you thing, it’s a me thing. That doesn’t mean I like you any less or that you’re not as important to me as I am to you.”

Fuck it.

Taako was in L-word with Kravitz, and if he had to say it like that then he  _ would _ , because their relationship had been off kilter for three weeks now and he was going to explode.

“Angus? I’m going out. Be good.” Taako called, throwing on his coat quickly. It was raining again, showing both that yes, it was finally spring, and also that the universe  _ loved _ pathetic fallacies (Taako could take ‘em or leave ‘em).

“Where are you going? It’s late.” Angus frowned, already in his pj’s.

“It’s a semi-emergency. No one’s hurt or dying, but I have to go.” 

“Should I get dressed?” The boy looked slightly alarmed. 

“No, pumpkin, stay here,” Taako grabbed his key to the apartment off the rack. “I’ll be back in a couple of hours. Just go to bed. I’ll come see you when I’m back if you’re still awake. Promise.”

And with that, he left the flat and locked the door behind him. This late at night, buses only came every hour, and the need to see Kravitz was suddenly inexplicably strong. If he hurried, he could make the one leaving in five minutes-

“Taako?” A voice called as he stepped through the front doors. Kravitz was standing about a hundred feet to his left in the visitor parking lot, just next to his car.

“Kravitz!” Taako’s nerves were simultaneously heightened and calmed, and he started taking long strides towards him.

“I’m here to apologize,” Kravitz said, also hurrying towards him. “I said I didn’t want to pressure your feelings, and then I did exactly that, and it was shitty of me-”

“You dumb mother fucker-” Taako exclaimed as he reached Kravitz, grabbing his cheeks and pulling him into a passionate kiss. Kravitz’s hands immediately found his waist, tugging him closer and closer until they were flush against each other, cooled by the rain pouring over them.

“This is sort of cliche, don’t you think?” Kravitz asked as they pulled away, but Taako put a hand over his mouth to shush him.

“I feel that way about you. I feel the L-word. And it’s hard to talk about why I can’t say it properly, but if you come inside we can talk about why and it’s something we can work on-” Taako began to ramble with nerves, but Kravitz sweeped him back into a tight embrace.

“I love you too. We definitely do need to talk- and you didn’t let me finish apologizing.” Kravitz said. “I’ve been thinking about how I acted and there’s some definite emotional manipulation there, and that’s really fucked up and I’m-”

“I’ve been emotionally manipulated, Krav, and that’s not what you were doing,” Taako said softly. “Come, come inside with me. Angie is still awake, and I know he misses you. Once he goes to bed we can talk about everything.”

“I love you.” Kravitz whispered. “Thank you for this, Taako.”   
  
“You’re welcome.” Taako took his hand and squeezed it. “And me too, on that first bit.”

“Kravitz?” Angus jumped off the couch when he saw the social worker, giving him a hug even though he was rather wet.

“Hey, shouldn’t you be in bed?” Kravitz ruffled his hair affectionately.

“It’s only eleven.” Angus frowned.

“It’s only  _ eleven, _ ” Taako nodded. “Hey, I think if we start watching Ponyo now, by the time it’s done Angus should be good to go to bed.”

“Ponyo’s my favourite,” Kravitz bumped against Taako’s shoulder.

“I know, that’s why I suggested it.” Taako bumped back. “You’re on popcorn duty, skeletor. Agnes, do you want to get the couch ready? Grab that nice throw blanket off my bed.”

“That’s not my name,” He grumbled, but treaded towards the back of the apartment to retrieve said blanket.

“Hey,” Kravitz grabbed Taako’s hand as he moved to join him in the kitchen. “We’re okay. Right?”   
  
“Right.” Taako squeezed.

“Maybe ‘right’ can be our always.” Kravitz grinned lightly, so Taako yanked his hand out of his grasp.

“I hate you. I hate you so much.” Taako cursed as Kravitz laughed at him. Later that evening, when Ponyo had succesfully gained legs and arms and Angus was fast asleep between them, Taako got the last word.

“You don’t even like that movie.”

And did Kravitz’s laughter wake Angus? Yes. Did they both get scolded by said Angus? Yes. Did Kravitz underestimate Taako’s willingness to hold a grudge? Yes. But once Angus had been properly sealed away in his room and the serious conversations were over and done with, Kravitz hugged Taako so tightly, so affectionately, so unbelievably Kravitz(-ly) that the three words had slipped out without much thought. 

Kravitz’s face had lit up like a Candlenight’s tree (the family had decided that between Hanukkah, Christmas, and any other festivities that Lup and Barry’s foster children would celebrate, it would be best just to do one mega celebration- but that was a story for another day) and he had pressed kisses into Taako’s cheeks until the joy had overflowed once more and a very disgruntled Angus left his room to inform them that as lovely as it was that they had figured out whatever they had been fighting over, Angus was  _ tired _ and he could and would call Lup to come get him.

Agreeing that  _ no one _ wanted to handle a Lup had been woken up at one in the morning, the couple headed into Taako’s bedroom.

The next morning, Kravitz drank valerian root tea with breakfast.

**Author's Note:**

> A couple of things!! I'm almost done planning the multi-chapter fic for this series, so I'll probably have the first chapter up after the next one shot (I got 90% done through a one shot that I'm really excited for and then realized that it's got huge spoilers for the bigger fic, which was very disappointing). On the bright side, the next one shot is a pretty short cutesy fic about Kravitz and Taako just being dads. 
> 
> If you have anything you'd like to see in this universe, you can go ahead and either drop a comment below or send me something in my inbox on tumblr @choo-choo-boyzz
> 
> Thank you so much for reading/ leaving comments/ kudos! Stay happy and stay safe <3


End file.
